4 months old!

I am awful at keeping up with posts when life gets busy.   Our newest bundle of joy arrived on June 20th.  Grayson was a healthy 8lb 12 oz.   He is an amazing little guy who has made his place in our family immediately.  Big brother loves him and can get him smiling so easily!  We are all doing great.

I think this will be my last post on this blog.  Chronic and documenting my journey has been so therapeutic for me.... More than you know.   My family has grown and come a long way since first starting this.  I know many have read this for support, information, etc and I hope people continue to find it useful.  The  ore we talk... The less this topic is taboo.  If anyone has questions or comments please email me.  leanneb@rogers.com.

Take care all.. Thanks again.  Fertile thoughts to those in the trenches right now!

Nearly 39 weeks!!

EEK!   Can't believe we are so close to meeting our new addition to the family.    "Frozen" as Dennis so lovingly calls him/her :) could arrive any day...or not. Who knows.

It's been quite a journey over the past month or so.  I have had a couple appointments with our OB Dr Rob and was actually discharged from his care at the latest appointment.  What does that mean?? My placenta kept moving and was over 3 cm away!! Woot woot! Such a big change from...."um....the way out is covered".  So.....I get to try a "normal" vaginal delivery and see how it goes.  I am still at a bit higher risk of bleeding but that will be monitored. If there is any concern for baby or me....to a C section we go.  I trust my midwives and know they will refer back as soon as is indicated.

So, I have my hospital bag ready...sort of...and now I wait. I am pretty pumped about trying vaginally.  Dennis thinks I am crazy but maybe it's a girl thing, maybe it's getting to try something else more natural in this whole process.  Part of it is my nature....I like a challenge, sort of like doing a triathlon or a run for me....some mind over matter?  Some of you may be laughing at me...but I guess I will see.  I have lots of tools in my tool box, amazing midwives and throwing in a few of my essential oils to try too.    
Overall, I feel pretty good.  Going off when I did, regardless of my placenta was a good decision. I have had times of going a bit stir crazy and definitely didn't get as much done as I had hoped (hard when I get tired walking to the mail box):)  BUT, I do feel more rested at this point in the game then I did with Callen.

Baby continues to move lots despite what I think is limited space in there. I get lots of jabs into my ribs...but movement is good and I will miss those feelings soon.  I may complain occasionally about my fatigue, lack of abs and slow movement....but I hope it doesn't seem like I don't appreciate how far we have come.  I just read an article about replacing the word "I have to" with "I get to".  I get to get up and pee every hour of the night because baby is growing and thriving...and taking up space:)  I get to have an achy back occasionally because I am fortunate to be able to carry a baby and experience this wonder.  It goes change your mind set....try it.

I am going to end with a shout out to a few friends who are at different stages of their journey.  One is awaiting IVF and dealing with work time off. Remember...legally if you have Dr's consent they can not say NO and you don't have to give details. I am fortunate to have a truly understanding boss and I was up front...but I didn't have to be...and it shouldn't have changed anything.  Stand up for your rights!
Second friend is going through egg retrieval and transfer over the next week or so.  It's an exciting and scary time....but you can do this!!!  Lots of positive vibes coming everyone's way.

Hugs to all.  Thanks again to everyone for their support near and far.  It's crazy how far we have come and I truly thankful for everything.
XXOOO

Canadian Infertility Awareness Week

I am part of a group on facebook called Fertility Matters Canada.  It is a page that is constantly raising awareness of infertility.  There articles and posts are inspiring and enlightening for those trying or who have family and friends trying to conceive.

This week is Canadian Infertility Awareness Week (CIAW) .   I will be posting the link to this blog again in hopes of helping someone through their own journey.

For those new to my blog, welcome.    Please look through the history and read my journey to the family I currently have.  I don't post as often and my most recent posts may be hard to read as they are about my current pregnancy.    I originally started this blog as a way to keep family and friends up to date about our journey. I was finding I was telling the same story over and over or people felt unsure to ask or not.  So...I was able to give myself a bit of a break and allow others to stay in the loop.    It became very therapeutic for me....to put into words how I was feeling emotionally and physically.  It is quite the roller coaster ride.

Initially I kept the blog to those I invited.....but as things progressed I opened it to the public.  I started talking more with others, seeing how many are struggling and see how sharing feelings helps the process, helps normalize how we feel.  Since I have had many comments about how reading my blog has helped get through some hard times. 

So, in the spirits of CIAW and making infertility not so taboo...please pass this on to anyone you think could benefit. Not everyone is ready or wants to talk....but many find comfort in knowing they are "not crazy" or alone in their feelings.  I have been fortunate to make it through this journey...but the emotions and feelings I understand and empathize.

#fertilitymatters

33 weeks and counting

The weeks keep passing by and we are getting closer and closer to meeting our new little Argoso, "frozen" as Dennis so lovingly calls him/her.:)  Since my last post I have see our OB Dr Rob twice.  Surprisingly, positive results from the ultrasounds and his opinion related to the measurements.   Both ultrasounds have shown that the os ("opening") is not covered at all. The placenta membrane and tissue are just close.  He's really calling it a "low lying placenta".   The second ultrasound showed it had moved ....marginally but moved.  The way the measurements are read is the distance from the OS.  I believe we are looking for 2cm away (as a safe distance).   My latest showed.  1.6 cm to the placenta membrane....but 2.6 to the actual tissue.  Which is great! At this point he feels confident in letting me try vaginally. Yay!  OF course a Csection may be needed if complications....but that's always been the case with trying a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After a Csection).
Here is a diagram to kind of show what the terms all mean:



So...I go back next week to see Dr Rob again and see what the ultrasound shows.  In the meantime I continue to see my midwife as well, which is great! I love that I get the best of both worlds. 

While there I did ask Dr Rob about restrictions. I was nervous that with work and lifting I could cause harm or exacerbate things.   I had been founding work quite challenging and my back had been flaring a lot.  His suggestion was to take it easy and limit lifting.  With my job, that's vague and hard to do. I had him fill out the form Occ health requires for limited work.  He had suggested 1/2 days with limiting squatting and lifting...<5kg.   When really thinking about this....that's my job!:)  A limb is that weight.  Occ health put together a suggested schedule but my coordinator was great about agreeing that  it couldn't be accommodated.  I was torn about leaving, feeling guilty leaving my colleagues short staffed....mentally I wasn't quite there yet.....but I knew my body needed it.  I had a day and a half to wrap up my patients, get paper work done and clean out my desk!

I am in week 3 of being off. I knew with in a few days it was the right thing.  Despite the previa..I think my body just isn't holding up like it did with Callen.   I nap daily, if not twice and I do feel much better over all.  I have a long list of to do's that Dennis reminds me don't need to be done immediately or at all....but need to putter....I just rest.    Costco.....that's a work out for me!  LOL

When I feel weird about being home I remember what a friend said:

" Only you can do this job of growing that baby...nobody else"

This is true....so I will enjoy my time and get rest now....yes I know that will change!:)
Other than the placenta and me slowing down.....baby is great.....happy as a clam in there!  Kicking lots!  Until next time.....

Long over due up date

Been meaning to write an update since our 18 week ultrasound....but somehow time got away from me and here we are at nearly 29 weeks! EEK

 It's been a bit of a roller coaster with highs and low.   Ultrasounds show baby is great!  I have felt lots of kicking and movement which is really cool.    I am definitely growing and feel bigger than I was with Callen at this point.  Most people are nice and tell me I look great....but not sure if they are just being nice:)  I feel a bit slower ....but that's okay...it's all worth it!  All our ultrasounds have shown that baby is doing well

The down has been that our first ultrasound showed that I might have placenta previa.  Basically this means that my placenta is low lying and either partially or completely covering the os....(cervix opening).  Our 18 week ultrasound wasn't clear if it was partial or complete.  Our ultrasound this week showed it is complete at this time.  The tech told us the membrane of the placenta is covering the opening.  SO basically..>NO WAY OUT for the baby.  Our midwife has referred me to see an OB to get their advice.

So...what does this mean??? Not 100% sure...but this is what I know.

Partial previa:  the os isn't completely covered or it's a certain distance away.  From what the midwife has told me is if it is so far away from the opening trying a vaginal delivery is safe.  She also said that as the pregnancy progresses it 'could' move further away.

Complete previa:  Os (cervis opening) completely covered. Not sure if it can grow out of the way or not. If not....it means a C-section.  The risk from what I understand is that if the placenta is delivered first the baby is without oxygen.

Other risks as the pregnancy progresses include bleeding/spotting (so far nothing) which could be related to the placenta pulling away from the wall due to being close to the opening.  The part I am unsure about is activity.   So far I have been told I can keep working but to be careful with heavy lifting. I have read that many people are on bed rest as a result of this but not sure when. Hoping an appointment with our OB will clarify this.

So...how am I doing? I have had a few melt downs.  I am sad and disappointed to potentially have a C-section again. I of course realize I need to and this is what's safe for me and baby.  But....I was really hoping to try vaginally/naturally.  Dennis is confused and doesn't understand but it's hard to explain.  I want to experience that, as crazy as it may sound.  I know people say it hurts, go with less hurt but it's something your body naturally knows how to do...I just was hoping to be able to try.  Also, a c section hurts...but in a different way and imposes restrictions for a longer time.   I am worried how Callen will do not being able to be carried by me or cuddled as easily.     I knew a csection was always a possibility with anyone....but didn't think it would be decided ahead of time again.
On...a positive note...this baby has no directional challenges....head is down!! Go figure!:)

Anyway, I hope I am not frustrating those out there who aren't pregnant or are trying.  I am not complaining...well maybe a bit....:) In the end I will have a baby, and a healthy baby and mom is the end game.  I can't promise to not have more emotional/hormonal moments but I will come around to what has to happen.

Next steps for us....see our OB, continue growing...and peeing....oh my god number of times I pee!:)
Thanks again to everyone to following us on our journey.  Fertile thoughts and vibes going out to you all!

Happy New year

Happy new year to everyone!  I know the holidays are supposed to be best time of the year and for a lot they are.  Time with family, friends, eating too much and laughing a lot.  We were fortunate to have a wonderful time with all sort of family and friends.  Callen was just fascinating to watch.  The innocence of a child seeing a Christmas tree with wide eyes, tearing open a gift with no concept of greed or want and watching as he plays with cousins he doesn't see often is wonderful.

However, I do know this can sometimes be a challenging time of year. I remember many blue Christmas's, trying to smile and keep my emotions inside while watching happy families, those with new born babies....happy for them....yet mad at life, God, whomever that it wasn't me yet.  I clearly remember tearing up during many of the church Christmas songs....there is a lot of talk about babies and miracles, etc etc.  Don't get me wrong I had fun, I reveled in the moment and the season...but a small part of me was aching..  So...for those there now....it's okay. I have said this before....it's almost my mantra....but it has served me well.  Allow yourself to feel. *insert sad, mad,* ...don't talk yourself into feeling that way.

I want to share something that happened the other day....
I ran into an old acquaintance the other day.  She asked if I was pregnant...and then joking after  "or too much Christmas food".  Later I received a message apologizing for the comment....about the food...which had not bothered me at all.  She ended up sharing that her and her husband were having fertility issues....that she had known I was pregnant from reading this blog but didn't know how to say it.  She said my blog has helped her feel less alone.  If you are reading this...thank you for sharing.  Knowing I have helped even one person along this crazy journey makes me know I did the right thing by starting this.  Yes it was for me more in the beginning....but I am so glad it has and still is helping others...

Anyway,  I am doing well pregnancy wise.  17 weeks, getting a belly, almost no innie belly button but feeling better and more energetic overall. I can brush my teeth easier, climb the stairs with less puffing and actually got back to the gym! yay!    I can feel more movement but nothing external yet. Can't wait for Callen to feel it.  He already says hi baby...and kisses my belly! So cute!

On that note...off to bed for me...night all...

In the clear!!

We went for our 12 week ultrasound yesterday and all went really well. I was nervous going in, despite gagging that morning:) I think I will always remember that first 12 week ultrasound...thinking everything was great....and then it wasn't.  It's crazy the mind games we play with ourselves...even when unintentional.

Anyway, I drank my water...and had a 'comfortably full bladder' ...whatever that means!:)  First thing  Shelly (ultrasound tech) found was the heart beat! Phew!  Then I just watched as she measured everything....so cool to see the brain , arms, legs, little feet.  I had to move around a bit toward the end to get it to flip so we could get a profile shot. I think it looks different than Callen.....who knows.  We aren't finding out...and apparently now is too early to accurately find out anyway.

So...we are quite excited and ready to relax a little bit.  Nothing is ever a guarantee but we are past the first bit.  Dennis was pretty excited and got right on making our announcement picture.  He's been planning this for awhile....  Are we bad parents for making our first born cry for our amusement? :) It was only for a few minutes...honest!!

It's all worth it

I recently was talking with some friends who are having their own fertility journey....slightly different than ours but similar.  They are having some frustration with the process, the information from health care providers and just the emotional and physical parts of the process.  If you have followed my blog since the beginning you will know that we have had a lot of ups and downs, times when I wanted to give up and throw in the towel, times when I thought we would never have a family of our own, never be happy....  Those times are normal and expected.  Physically I put my body through crazy highs and lows hormonally and emotionally....it will probably never be the same again.  :)

BUT....would I do it over again?  If it was my only way to experience the love and joy Callen brings to our lives...Yes...in a heart beat. It was and is worth it.  Do I wish it had been easier and just work out like it does for many..hell ya....but I have learned a lot along the way...and now have the pleasure of hopefully helping even a few others by sharing my story.

So...to those trying for the first time, second time....or whatever..CHIN UP!  Your journey will present itself eventually.  It may not be as you had envisioned it but it will be as it's supposed to be. 

Lots of positive fertile vibes to all of you looking for it.

Poutine is a vegetable....right?

Well....lets hope that my body knows how to pull out nutrients out of junk food as that's what I have been feeding it! :)  I have been eating okay but not like I normally do.  It's amazing and intriguing how our bodies which normally love salads, healthy foods is suddenly turned off my the thought of it  But a cinnamon bun, a bagel or even better yet poutine....hell ya!  I have literally had poutine twice this past week.    Don't worry I am trying to be good and eat some vegetables, fruits, etc.....but it's really hard.  This morning...the smell of mushrooms in Callen's omelette made my stomach turn.     My theory right now is....at least I am eating....and keeping it down....




Problem is...it's not helping my figure:)  I think I am already popping through with a belly.  I am totally fine with the image thing....just wasn't ready for my jeans not to fit already!   OH well...all part of the experience..... 

12 week ultrasound this week....so fingers crossed all is well

Just building a heart....and a brain....

Hi all!  I apologize again for the lack of keeping people up to date.  I have literally been in bed by 8-830 most nights....out like a light.  Between pregnancy fatigue and fighting a cold....I am done by the end of the day:) The one night I woke up and Dennis wasn't in bed...I stumbled down stairs and said "What are you still doing up???"  He looked at me like I was crazy(which is a common look):) and said..."It's a quarter to nine"....huh...thought I had slept 5 hours already!:)

Anyways, all is well...over 9 weeks now.  I assume everything continues to be just fine as I continue to feel yucky morning and night.  That's okay....at least I know things are happening.

We had an ultrasound a couple weeks ago.  Everything looked great. Our little one has doubled in size, has brain ventricles developing, little appendage buds and a heart beat! Very cool.  No wonder I am tired....I am manufacturing a lot of things!:)  I attached a picture below. 

We are pretty excited things are going well.  Next ultrasound is an external one, takes 45 minutes and lots of measurements are taken. It's around 12 weeks.  After that one I feel a little more safe and excited! 


Again..thanks to all for your love and support! Happy weekend...and snow...apparently...

No mini van needed!:)

Sorry for the delay in updates...been busy evenings...sleeping as soon as I can...fighting a cold...blah! NOT complaining....but a cold tired on top of feeling tired....well anyway..I will survive:)

So..last week we went for our first ultrasound. I believe at that point we were 5 weeks 5 days ish.  With it being so early this is an internal ultrasound. It's too early to see a heart beat.  The purpose is to see how the embryo is implanting and looking....AND to see how many.

There was only one....which was what I was sort of hoping for.  Two would have been fun and loved...but a bit busy with Callen too!:)  Anyway, one was there. So...Dennis' comment was...phew...no minivan!:)     All the measurements were on track which was good.   Basically it looks  like a blob with a little bubble in it...called the yoke sac.  We didn't get a picture this time but should with the next.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yolk_sac

The ultrasound tech was telling us some neat genetic/embryology information she had learned at a course.  She has said as we know that there are cells designated for certain things ie arm,leg, etc.  There are also cells that are sort of jack of all trades that can be used wherever is needed to develop whatever is needed.  Kind of cool really!

Anyway, over all feeling okayish.  Having nausea if I am hungry and  then if I eat too much...I think. Not sure the trend or if there is one.   Part of the process and just embracing it as I can....maybe complaining a bit to certain people....just a bit...but not a lot.  I know there are many who want to feel like this....so please don't get me wrong when I whine a bit! I am very fortunate and thankful!  

okay...just icing, then shot...then bed time for this crazy party girl! Night all...thanks again for the support...

Shot shot shot shot.....

Part of the regimen is injections of Progesterone and estrogen.   The estrogen is twice a week and started a week or so before transfer to get my hormones aligned appropriately.   It 0.2ml.

Progesterone I started a few days before the transfer. It is 2 ml and daily....so my butt is bit of a pin cushion.  Progesterone is sometimes called the  pregnancy hormone as it's levels are important before and during pregnancy.  In a nut shell the two hormones help the uterus prepare for and maintain the fertilized egg. 
http://www.resolve.org/about-infertility/understanding-my-body/progesterone-and-pregnancy-a-vital-connection.html
With previous IUI's and my first own egg IVF I used suppositories.  They work just as well but really are quite messy and "oozy".  I had a choice this go around to do them.  I chose to stick with the IM injections.  It worked last time and is a lot cleaner.  Yes, my buttocks feels  like a pin cushion and probably is a nice blue haze but it's all worth it. 

Below is my set up, calendar to keep track on which "cheek" is up that day, syringes, draw up needle, injecting needles and drugs.  The second picture are my Tuesday/ Friday shots!  Fun fun!

For anyone contemplating IVF of some sort don't let this scare you please.   I too was nervous and didn't think I could do it.  But, we are all stronger than we think...I have learned that.  You can do it! There are challenging times, even when it's going well....but that's normal. It's okay to be scared, to be emotional, to think...seriously...why I am I dealing with this.  BUT...bottom line...it's worth it.  Each story is different but we all are warriors....and can conquer anything...  Night !

Beta battle F.E.T.

I know many of you have been waiting to get an update. I waited a bit till we made sure certain people were told.      I went for blood work on Thursday morning. They do what is called a "beta" test or a test of my HcG levels....fancy term for blood test.  I still wasn't sure that morning either way if I was pregnant or not.  I was feeling tired, but again maybe because of travelling. The only odd symptoms I have been feeling have been hot and cold flashes, chills at night and a bit of cramping.  Apparently those are symptoms for some.

SO.... our result on Thursday was 258. Much lower than we had for Callen but anything over 80 is good.   I have to stop comparing but it's hard not to. So...yay!!    I am excited but of course cautiously.....it's still very early.  Saturday was our follow up beta and our number was 479!! So, it's going up...which is great!  Dennis asked if lower numbers means one.....who knows...possibly.

Next step is an early ultrasound a week tomorrow.  We will find out then if one or two.  Eeek! 

Back to work tomorrow...see how this goes. I have been enjoying my afternoon naps since being home....wonder if I can fit that into my schedule??Ha!! 

Thanks for everyone's support. Please remember though this is very early. I am keeping my followers on here up to date but many do not know yet, including some family. So please don't post anything on facebook or spread the word so much until we are in the safer zone. I know many will be asking...I am often just telling people so far so good!! That I think lets people know....

Oh...many might wonder what FET stands for...Frozen Embryo Transfer....so we will see...which works better....Fresh or frozen!!:)


Anyway, off for my daily progesterone shot....fun fun!  Night all!!

Nervously waiting....

Heading home today....back to reality.  Super excited to see Callen...missed him so much. We skyped a lot but some days were harder than others.  Usually those were the long days, when I was already tired....maybe some of it had to with hormones? I am not sure.

Starting to get nervous about the result of this time around.  With Callen we had success...but nothing is guaranteed.  I have re read some of my old posts....which may have not been a great idea.  I am not feeling like I did then....so now I am worried.  I know each time is different....so trying to stay positive!  Fingers crossed! 

Exploring......

We were back and forth about staying after the transfer.   Technically, we could have come home last Wednesday.  We talked about it and figured, we are here might as well enjoy it a bit.  It's been weird being  away from Callen for this long but it's been nice being a couple again, not just mom and dad.:)  Also, being here is more relaxing then at home....even if I wasn't at work.  We have enjoyed lazy mornings despite some very busy days.

We visited some of our favourites and a few new places.  The highlights after our transfer were:  Yosemite National park tour, fly fishing on the river that flows from the valley of Yosemite, visiting Monterey again, the gorgeous scenery of highway 1, visiting Stearns wharf in Santa Barbara and lastly today spending time in Santa Monica.  

 

Sticky Uterus!!

Sorry for the delay in writing....not great wifi connection and the post I had almost done I accidently deleted. Argggh!!

Anyway, we are alive and well...I am just way behind on posts, journaling, etc  We have had some busy, longer days and I am tired by the end!

This post is about transfer day....and the title Sticky uterus is compliments of one of my closest friends Monica.  First round through and now this one we had a bunch of mantras....this being one of them..  Hopefully my uterus is sticky and the embryos do their  thing and burrow in. YES...we put two in!!  We will see what happens.  We put two with Callen...but got just him...so only God knows.

Transfer day was much shorter and smoother than last time from my point of view.  We were in and out quicker.  We arrived, paid...OUCH...and within in a few minutes we were brought back to our room. We met with a nurse to go over post transfer instructions, paper work, etc.  Next is the embryologist...this is kind of cool. He told us how they chose the two, what we have left and answered our questions. Our little frozen embryos were thawed that morning. We have five left....all but one are similar quality.  Like last time...we got a picture...aren't they cute?:)

Next, I took my diazepam and started sipping my water.  The medication to help me and my lining relax.  It is supposed to help in my body accepting the embryo.  The water is to fill my bladder to "comfortably full".  The transfer is ultrasound guided. Having my bladder full enough helps make the passage easier to see and to get to where we want.    The water drinking went much better than last time. I joke that this is the worst part of the transfer. I suck at finding that "comfortable" full.  Last time I drank too much, too soon and ended up peeing and refilling way too many times.  This time I was much better.  On first check...not full enough...so more sipping and waiting.  Finally, I was ready to go.  Was I nervous...yes....for many reasons.  The procedure not so much...maybe a bit, but more the whole thing starting, the unknown.  It worked last time....success rates even with a frozen embryo are pretty high...but you never know.

So...the process itself is actually fairly quick. You assume the position....ladies you know what this means...yup legs in stirrups.  On an aside...theirs are nice and padded...with oven mitts!:)    Dr Hubert comes in with his nurse and we get all set up.  He is such a lovely man who is genuine, personable....truly seems to love his job.  He has a London connection through his wife I believe..so always asking about how things are.  Anyway, speculum in (not my favourite...but he's pretty gentle) and he does a "practice" run with the catheter/tube.  The nurse has the abdomen ultrasound so you can see on the screen the tube.  Next the real thing. He gets the tube through a little "drive through" window from the embryologist...and in they go.  On the screen we could see a little flash.    After that I got dressed, peed....yay! and Off we went...Oh....I almost forgot.  Protocol...had to get wheel-chaired out to the parking lot.

Okay....so lots of crossed fingers and good vibes this way please!  Sticky uterus!

Transfer day!!

This day has really snuck up on me this time!!  I feel pretty good right now.  Just had breakfast, enjoying a team outside before heading over to the clinic.  I was more nervous and emotional last night for some reason...maybe the hormones, maybe nerves, maybe the half a bottle of wine....who knows!:) 

Our trip has been pretty good so far.  Good flight, some issues with our car rental; which CAA will be hearing about later.  All and all...the travel here was good.  It's a bit surreal being back recognizing some places, seeing some newer areas.  I find travelling in general is surreal, almost a dream...or dream state.   Maybe that' s just me and being a fairly routine person.    The weather is gorgeous...cool nights and along the coast but warm and sunny afternoons.  This trip is a bit more low key. When I think about our last time here we packed ALOT into our time...we saw a lot of things. We have some plans but taking a bit more relaxed. 

Yesterday we did a hike near thousand oaks which was really nice....up to a look out where you could see mountains, the valley etc.  It's pretty......but home is so pretty too.   This area of Cali has us beat with elevation but we have them beat with colours and lushness.....  Nature is quite amazing!   After relaxing by the pool...we were off to the clinic.  I had an appointment for an ultrasound to check my lining thickness and do blood work. All looks great.  The lining thickness is important for the transfer.  The thicker the better so to speak. It gives the embryo somewhere nice to "call home":)  The bloodwork is check my estrogen and progesterone levels...to see if I need to up my dosage.. Thanks goodness no!

We also took a drive in our convertible...yes...we rented one again...what the hell!  Dennis got to drive his "most favourite road ever" through the mountain to the pacific coast highway. Let's say it's very windy/curvy and I had to remind him he wasn't in a video game!:)  Again.....gorgeous views...some new things...some the same.  We went along the water to Venice beach and walked around there. You see a lot of interesting people in a place like Venice...  It takes all sorts to make the world go round!!

So....wish us luck...fingers and everything crossed would be great.  I will explain what happens today in my next post for those who are interested.  Hope everyone is well....

picture from our room

moutains in background

Emotional good bye

I thought I would hold it together but....who was I kidding. I am an emotional person to begin with, plus on hormones....so yes....saying bye to Callen was challenging.  He of course had no clue and didn't really want hugs....waving bye bye grinning ear to ear.  He's in good hands and I know it......just weird being away from him.  It must be a female or mom thing....Dennis says he'll miss him but he was fine leaving.   It's different for him. I spent every day, every hour with Callen for so long.  I still sometimes find it strange dropping him off at day care.  :)    Dennis says that in 10 years I will be pushing them to grandparents so we can get away....maybe so. It's just that first lengthy time apart, not knowing how it will go.    I know this is good and we will all have fun.  I know my parents are thrilled to spend time with Callen....we will see how they feel after 10 days of not sleeping in!:)

It's such  a different feeling going this time....more relaxed right now.  Exciting to go back to some of to the places we went to pre Callen and to explore some new. 

Waiting at the airport to board our flight to Toronto...then off to L.A. for us.  All packed up, probably with too much stuff...oh well.  Looking forward to some sunshine to give us good luck.  Thanks again for everyone's love and support along our journey...

Getting closer.....

Work is done..... Now the packing begins...For those that know me.... I really dislike packing! :) I am picking fior myself.... And for Callen .   He's staying with my parents.   It's quite amazing how much one little man needs! :)
As for me.... I am trying to not over do it.   Dennis always teases me.... There are stores where we are going!!

We drop off Callen at my parents later today.   I am nervous about this.   I know he is in good hands and will probably be fine.   We just have never been apart that long..... So I may be a bit more weepy :)    It will be easier for us and more relaxing there,  without a schedule... Which is what I need after the transfer.    Just... Going to be quite strange.

Currently  starting to relax a bit.... Getting my nails done.... My feet need it badly!!!!

One week and counting

Not sure how this came up so quickly on us.  Likely because the past month has been super busy with things at work, a physio college assessment and yes...just life.  It's been a very different yet very similar experience thus far. I think because we have been so busy with other things I haven't really overthought things.  The plus this time around is we have Callen. If things don't work out...we will be disappointed and will have to figure out what next....but if nothing else...we have our wonderful little man.

So....as I said in my last post it is getting real now.  I had my last early morning visit to SOFT for my ultrasound and blood work. Everything looks as it should....my body is getting ready.  I start more meds and my daily injections tomorrow....if all goes well, this will be a 10-11 week process!  Yay....my butt gets to be a pin cushion again.  A little more padding there then the first round...so maybe it will be easier!:) lol.

Hoping everyone can send us the same vibes that they sent last time...  I will write a few times...or more if I hear there is interest in following us again.

That is all for now...please let me know if you have questions or thoughts....take care..