Transfer day!!

This day has really snuck up on me this time!!  I feel pretty good right now.  Just had breakfast, enjoying a team outside before heading over to the clinic.  I was more nervous and emotional last night for some reason...maybe the hormones, maybe nerves, maybe the half a bottle of wine....who knows!:) 

Our trip has been pretty good so far.  Good flight, some issues with our car rental; which CAA will be hearing about later.  All and all...the travel here was good.  It's a bit surreal being back recognizing some places, seeing some newer areas.  I find travelling in general is surreal, almost a dream...or dream state.   Maybe that' s just me and being a fairly routine person.    The weather is gorgeous...cool nights and along the coast but warm and sunny afternoons.  This trip is a bit more low key. When I think about our last time here we packed ALOT into our time...we saw a lot of things. We have some plans but taking a bit more relaxed. 

Yesterday we did a hike near thousand oaks which was really nice....up to a look out where you could see mountains, the valley etc.  It's pretty......but home is so pretty too.   This area of Cali has us beat with elevation but we have them beat with colours and lushness.....  Nature is quite amazing!   After relaxing by the pool...we were off to the clinic.  I had an appointment for an ultrasound to check my lining thickness and do blood work. All looks great.  The lining thickness is important for the transfer.  The thicker the better so to speak. It gives the embryo somewhere nice to "call home":)  The bloodwork is check my estrogen and progesterone levels...to see if I need to up my dosage.. Thanks goodness no!

We also took a drive in our convertible...yes...we rented one again...what the hell!  Dennis got to drive his "most favourite road ever" through the mountain to the pacific coast highway. Let's say it's very windy/curvy and I had to remind him he wasn't in a video game!:)  Again.....gorgeous views...some new things...some the same.  We went along the water to Venice beach and walked around there. You see a lot of interesting people in a place like Venice...  It takes all sorts to make the world go round!!

So....wish us luck...fingers and everything crossed would be great.  I will explain what happens today in my next post for those who are interested.  Hope everyone is well....

picture from our room

moutains in background

Emotional good bye

I thought I would hold it together but....who was I kidding. I am an emotional person to begin with, plus on hormones....so yes....saying bye to Callen was challenging.  He of course had no clue and didn't really want hugs....waving bye bye grinning ear to ear.  He's in good hands and I know it......just weird being away from him.  It must be a female or mom thing....Dennis says he'll miss him but he was fine leaving.   It's different for him. I spent every day, every hour with Callen for so long.  I still sometimes find it strange dropping him off at day care.  :)    Dennis says that in 10 years I will be pushing them to grandparents so we can get away....maybe so. It's just that first lengthy time apart, not knowing how it will go.    I know this is good and we will all have fun.  I know my parents are thrilled to spend time with Callen....we will see how they feel after 10 days of not sleeping in!:)

It's such  a different feeling going this time....more relaxed right now.  Exciting to go back to some of to the places we went to pre Callen and to explore some new. 

Waiting at the airport to board our flight to Toronto...then off to L.A. for us.  All packed up, probably with too much stuff...oh well.  Looking forward to some sunshine to give us good luck.  Thanks again for everyone's love and support along our journey...

Getting closer.....

Work is done..... Now the packing begins...For those that know me.... I really dislike packing! :) I am picking fior myself.... And for Callen .   He's staying with my parents.   It's quite amazing how much one little man needs! :)
As for me.... I am trying to not over do it.   Dennis always teases me.... There are stores where we are going!!

We drop off Callen at my parents later today.   I am nervous about this.   I know he is in good hands and will probably be fine.   We just have never been apart that long..... So I may be a bit more weepy :)    It will be easier for us and more relaxing there,  without a schedule... Which is what I need after the transfer.    Just... Going to be quite strange.

Currently  starting to relax a bit.... Getting my nails done.... My feet need it badly!!!!

One week and counting

Not sure how this came up so quickly on us.  Likely because the past month has been super busy with things at work, a physio college assessment and yes...just life.  It's been a very different yet very similar experience thus far. I think because we have been so busy with other things I haven't really overthought things.  The plus this time around is we have Callen. If things don't work out...we will be disappointed and will have to figure out what next....but if nothing else...we have our wonderful little man.

So....as I said in my last post it is getting real now.  I had my last early morning visit to SOFT for my ultrasound and blood work. Everything looks as it should....my body is getting ready.  I start more meds and my daily injections tomorrow....if all goes well, this will be a 10-11 week process!  Yay....my butt gets to be a pin cushion again.  A little more padding there then the first round...so maybe it will be easier!:) lol.

Hoping everyone can send us the same vibes that they sent last time...  I will write a few times...or more if I hear there is interest in following us again.

That is all for now...please let me know if you have questions or thoughts....take care..

Kablamo

First day of shots today .   Syringe is all ready,  icing my butt before Dennis gets to do the deed.   First time I have really had butterflies in this whole process this time.   Looking at the needle.... I forgot how long it was... Ugh!  I will survive and yes it is all worth it..... But not looking forward to this part again.   For those who are maybe starting the process... Don't be discouraged by my whining.... Just my feelings and emotions.   In the grand scheme of things..... It's not a big deal at all.. Okay... Here goes nothing!!

3 week count down

For those still following our journey we have our date booked to return to California.    We will be leaving the first weekend in October and have the transfer that week.  It's crazy here right now with work, I have some PT college stuff going on and life in general.  I have a feeling everything is going to sneak up on us fast. 
Prepping my body has started and injections start twice a week this coming week. I had an option to not do injections and look into another method but this worked the first time....so I want to keep it the same.

So...yes...Dennis gets to do his "kablamo" injections again!:)  They are necessary but a pain in the butt...both figuratively and literally! Oh well. I think once we get going we will fall back into the pattern from last time.

Emotionally I am pretty good right now. I think as it gets closer and things start slowing down it will hit me more.  I am trying not to overthink it.....the calmer the better for success!!

Anyway...Thanks again to all of you who have been so supportive to us in our first journey and with the upcoming one.   We are fortunate that we have Callen....so if things don't work out...we have a wonderful little man to fill our hearts. But would be nice for him to have a sibling...so fingers crossed!  Will keep people posted along the way.....

For those of you trying... my heart is with you.  It's a crazy tough journey and everyone approaches it differently.  Hugs and good luck!

Beta battle flash back

Many I know are wondering...so...are you going to try again...yes...I think we are.   Not as quickly as some probably expected we would...with our age and all.  But...to be honest I wanted a summer just the three of us, not pregnant, or breast feeding or feeling exhausted from lack of sleep. I am not complaining one bit....I am fortunate to have experienced it all and would never change a thing.  I was actually pretty lucky...but....what's the rush,....right? Hopefully round two will go well and we won't regret waiting....ie hopefully it works right away again.

Anyway, we linked with Dr Hubert in California vie skype in the spring.  Lovely man as we remembered him.  Basically said I need to have an ultrasound, blood work and be done nursing before starting.   Nursing was something I wanted to continue for awhile....it made it to 15 months....Callen sort of weaned himself...so very gentle.

So off to SOFT I went for my tests....sort of weird and surreal going in.  Many of the staff I know had been let go wit new management ....."my person" being one of them.  The Dr that had to help with the test is not the most gentle let's say......don't go for a pap to her.  The combo of it being uncomfortable and memories of  being there, the emotions got me really down.  On top of it....she said "its stuck" when trying to unclamp the speculum.  There I am on the bed...sobbing....and visualizing myself going to emerg with a....jammed speculum??  The good news.....she got it undone.  My saving grace was the ultrasound tech who has been through this WHoLe journey and is a wonderful gentle woman.  She talked with me after, was okay to give me a hug....   I pulled it together, talked about Callen and back to work I went..

So weird....I know our journey turned out perfect and as it should with our amazing little boy.....but the thought of revisiting those feelings and emotions....does scare me.  I know I...we can handleit...but it's been nice having a a break.

Next steps....when should we go to Cali..ie ...when do we want to be due????