Many I know are wondering...so...are you going to try again...yes...I think we are. Not as quickly as some probably expected we would...with our age and all. But...to be honest I wanted a summer just the three of us, not pregnant, or breast feeding or feeling exhausted from lack of sleep. I am not complaining one bit....I am fortunate to have experienced it all and would never change a thing. I was actually pretty lucky...but....what's the rush,....right? Hopefully round two will go well and we won't regret waiting....ie hopefully it works right away again.
Anyway, we linked with Dr Hubert in California vie skype in the spring. Lovely man as we remembered him. Basically said I need to have an ultrasound, blood work and be done nursing before starting. Nursing was something I wanted to continue for awhile....it made it to 15 months....Callen sort of weaned himself...so very gentle.
So off to SOFT I went for my tests....sort of weird and surreal going in. Many of the staff I know had been let go wit new management ....."my person" being one of them. The Dr that had to help with the test is not the most gentle let's say......don't go for a pap to her. The combo of it being uncomfortable and memories of being there, the emotions got me really down. On top of it....she said "its stuck" when trying to unclamp the speculum. There I am on the bed...sobbing....and visualizing myself going to emerg with a....jammed speculum?? The good news.....she got it undone. My saving grace was the ultrasound tech who has been through this WHoLe journey and is a wonderful gentle woman. She talked with me after, was okay to give me a hug.... I pulled it together, talked about Callen and back to work I went..
So weird....I know our journey turned out perfect and as it should with our amazing little boy.....but the thought of revisiting those feelings and emotions....does scare me. I know I...we can handleit...but it's been nice having a a break.
Next steps....when should we go to Cali..ie ...when do we want to be due????
Anyway, we linked with Dr Hubert in California vie skype in the spring. Lovely man as we remembered him. Basically said I need to have an ultrasound, blood work and be done nursing before starting. Nursing was something I wanted to continue for awhile....it made it to 15 months....Callen sort of weaned himself...so very gentle.
So off to SOFT I went for my tests....sort of weird and surreal going in. Many of the staff I know had been let go wit new management ....."my person" being one of them. The Dr that had to help with the test is not the most gentle let's say......don't go for a pap to her. The combo of it being uncomfortable and memories of being there, the emotions got me really down. On top of it....she said "its stuck" when trying to unclamp the speculum. There I am on the bed...sobbing....and visualizing myself going to emerg with a....jammed speculum?? The good news.....she got it undone. My saving grace was the ultrasound tech who has been through this WHoLe journey and is a wonderful gentle woman. She talked with me after, was okay to give me a hug.... I pulled it together, talked about Callen and back to work I went..
So weird....I know our journey turned out perfect and as it should with our amazing little boy.....but the thought of revisiting those feelings and emotions....does scare me. I know I...we can handleit...but it's been nice having a a break.
Next steps....when should we go to Cali..ie ...when do we want to be due????
