Scary moment....but all good...

Had a bit of a scare the other day.  Coming home after an appointment I had quite intense, sharp pains in my abdomen.  They were more intense then the usual twinges and tweaks I am used to feeling over the past few weeks.  I was a bit worried but figured all was well.  Later that night when going to the washroom I had some bleeding. I hadn't had any spotting since implantation bleeding.  It scared me and I started to panic a bit.  Waited what I thought was awhile and was spotting more.  Rational Leanne, knowing that spotting can occur went out the window. In came, emotional, here we go with things not working Leanne.  To be fair it was the combination of the intense pain and the bleeding that worried me.    It was later in the evening, SOFT was closed, but I knew Dr Hubert had an answering service and said to call with any worries. So I did.  He reassured me it was normal, very common and likely not an issue.  He said implantation bleeding can still be occurring.  He suggested I go for blood work and see if I could get an ultrasound (we were booked for one this week anyway).

So...we did just that.  Blood work showed my beta was at 20128..which is higher and good.  Now for the ultrasound......things were good.  We weren't sure what to expect...one, two..........................what do people think????????????????????


sooo???







Okay...just one.  Two would have been cool too...then we would be done.  But one...less complications to worry about. Either way...yay!  Too early for a heart beat yet....but something is there...so another milestone passed.....


Well, I am just heating my butt up after my injection...then heading to bed.  Before I do that...here is a funny link.  More amusing to those with fertility issues....but others may get a chuckle too...http://www.fertilitynation.com/13-infertility-jokes-to-make-you-not-want-to-punch-someone-in-the-face/#.U9mjThBdWa8

Diet and rocks and acupuncture...

I have been slowly working on this post for awhile..in between updates and travelling, etc.  Just sort of an FYI/food for thought info...

There is always more to health and medicine than our traditional western, "medical" approach.  I haven't tried everything but over the years have tried a variety.  I am not going to say one does or doesn't work. I think there is merit in everything. Especially for those who aren't conceiving and are told there is "no reason"...give it a shot. For those with a reason...of course...why not!!   After awhile and trying many things...it can get overwhelming.

So...what have I tried.....

1.  Diet.  When my ex and I were trying I went to see a Naturopath. One of the things she recommended to me was a diet modification.  I was to have no wheat, no citrus and no peanuts.   I can't remember the exact theories now.  It had to do with how each of these items affected the bodies inflammatory process/heightened it...which in turn could affect the ability of my body to become pregnant.  It was explained that if my immune system was heightened it might try and "attack" a potential embryo...or change. It made sense and I thought...what the heck...wasn't going to hurt me.    Let me tell you it was a hard thing to do, especially since it being around Christmas.    With this go around I tried it for a month or so...but then decided the hell with it. I was giving up enough......I was undecided if it was making a difference...so I have just been trying to moderate what I eat...and eat healthy overall.    Many ask if I avoid alcohol...at first yes, I did. I was worried that I could be causing harm...but in reality this isn't true.  For along time between IUI and beta test I wouldn't drink...worried it could affect the results.  Then a  SOFT nurses actually told me I could have a drink during that time period.  No blood mixes during that stage.    Now...again..moderation is of course the key.  So,  I stopped feeling guilty about living and enjoying my food and my occasional beverage!  That being said...with this current donor cycle...and all we have invested in it...I was good right away.  Irony was as soon as the transfer was done we passed SO many wineries!  Sigh.....:)


2.  Rocks......what???  So...a great colleague and friend of mine has let me borrow (indefinitely at this point) her fertility rock.    It was given to her by her sister who got it on her honeymoon.  There is this stone in Ireland which is known as a fertility rock.  While visiting she found a small piece beside the stone..."charged" it against the big rock...and brought it home for good luck.  She passed it onto me once she got pregnant.  I will admit I rubbed that rock quite a bit at first....but then just let it sit by my bedside.      Do I believe the rock has power?? Who knows really....but the concept of believing in something bigger than us and not giving up hope...why not.  It kept my spirits up and gave me something else to project my doubts and sadness to for a period of time.    Thank you my dear friends for your support both physical, emotional and spiritual.

In addition to the above rock another colleague of mine gave me some gems/stones.  I was supposed to keep them with me, close to my heart or under my pillow.  Each stone has a meaning, name and purpose.  Here is a web site I just found when googling about it...kind of interesting.   http://www.thatcrystalsite.com/articles/crystals-for-pregnancy.php
Again thank you to for thinking of me and giving me positive vibes along this journey.  They may not have helped immediately but the cumulative effect of love and support is peaking now...I just know it!

3. Osteopath
I didn't know a lot about osteopathy but I had quite a few people suggest trying it, that there was a lot of success with fertility.
http://www.osteopathy-canada.com/osteopath-definition/?
http://www.osteopathy-canada.com/manual-osteopathy-philosophy/?

Over a period of 2 years or so I went to two different practitioners(one then switched).  I liked them both despite different approaches.  I had switched because the first osteopathy had a long wait between appointments.  I felt like I was regressing each time with such a gap.  With no surprise to me they both commented about my posture.  I have quite a curve to my back which has prompted many comments over the years.  Lets just say a few Physios would love to have me as their "project"....or maybe not...I might be too much work.    They both felt that my posture along with many other things could be contributing to the fertility issues.  The second practitioner did more "mobilizations" so to speak and I did feel better and looser.  I kept seeing her up until the last full IVF attempt(which switched to an IUI).  Why didn't I go back after?? Not really sure.  Partly was the fact I had burned through all of my health benefits and wasn't sure...was it making a difference?  Also...I think at that point...I needed a break.  It was around the time where I think I was really burning out, feeling the stress of trying everything and seeing no results.    Will I go back? Likely.  I know of a couple people who swore by the osteopath for helping with an easier delivery...think stretching ahead of time.  So..again...why not.

4.  Acupuncture
As I said earlier I had gone to a Naturopath previously.  One of the other things she had done with me was acupuncture to try and relax me, stimulate my ovaries, etc.  No success at that point but that was for the better.  This time through I tried many things but never really did start considering acupuncture till later.  I think I got to a point that I was tired of trying different things and we were on a different path the, the egg donor path.  I did however find out they can help with implantation etc.  So, I ended up contacting Lisa Kervin, an acupuncturist in town. http://www.lisakervin.com/  I was able to get in for an assessment before we left for California and have been two times since.  The idea is the points help relax me, increase the blood flow to my lining, etc, etc...so help make the embryo(s) stick.  As an aside, she does help with egg quality for anyone who is interested.   Again..is it helping?  Won't really know...but I believe in acupuncture and think it doesn't hurt.  This woman is amazing and fast! Within the matter of 2 minutes I think I had about 20 needles in.   She usually suggests seeing her for up to 5 weeks ish and then further along if needed to help with nausea.  Sweet!  If I do get it...this is much better than going on medication.


I am sure there are other things we have done...but those are a few that come to me the most....

Achy butt...:)

No big updates...other than my butt, specifically my gluteus medius aches...and I think may be a bit bruised!  When I walk it feels like I have just done a bunch of clam shell exercises...but I haven't.  So weird!  Damn injections are starting to catch up to me I think!:)  A couple must have come close to a blood vessel as I sprung a leak after. Dennis was off target a bit!  Don't worry...a little pressure and I was fine.  If someone were to walk in on us during this whole process...well who knows what conclusions they would come too. Ice, syringes, alcohol swabs, heating pads.....Not your typical just found out your pregnant week eh!  At least I am not feeling nauseous yet!

Despite my bit of whining...they really aren't that bad.  A little sting if I don't numb the area enough and in it goes.  Someone the sensation was kind of like getting collagen injections.  I have never experienced that...but I can see the analogy.   In the grand scheme of things...these will be nothing compared to what is at the end of this journey....right!

Otherwise doing well.  First week back to work was good.  I was a bit tired but not too bad.  Nice to get back to a routine.  Better to be busy and have something else to focus on.

Will post more after our first ultrasound next week.  Fingers still crossed....

Beta battle follow up!

Today I was up and at SOFT before work for my blood work.  Follow up test of my beta to make sure it is increasing.  I was a bit nervous.  Thursday's number was good...but who know.  Message on my phone mid morning.......1512!!!  This is really good and shows things are coming along well.  Phew!  Another  step further.  There are a few milestones to get by in my head...then I will celebrate more!

If you are interested here is a web page explaining HCG a bit more.  http://americanpregnancy.org/duringpregnancy/hcglevels.html

As for how I am doing...not too bad.  I find I am tired by late afternoon and have been napping more than usual. That being said Dennis still naps more.:)   Those that know Dennis will not find it a surprise at all.   

Spoke with the nurse at SOFT today about getting back to activity.   The internet and literature gives mixed messages. You don't want to overdue it but you don't want to gain inappropriate weight either...both are not healthy.   Sounds like I am getting the go ahead...but encouraged to avoid too much jogging, or to break it up into a walk/jog.  This is more to do with what we have gone through to get here.  The basic concept is listen to your body. If you are tired, rest.  Normally many of us push through feeling tired.  Now I have to listen better and take a break.    So that is what I will do.  I know there are those of you who feel I will do too much, knowing how much I enjoy and need to exercise. Please breathe easy and know I can do this and will listen to my body....but know I won't sit around and do nothing!:)

Today was also back to work. I was a bit nervous and unsure how I would feel. Everyone was great and my caseload is higher level-ish.  It will be busy but is manageable. I was starving by lunch but my fatigue didn't hit me till I was home... Other than that....really no other symptoms right now.....

Beta battle Egg donor cycle....take 1

I know many of you have been waiting and waiting, wondering, wanting to the know the news.  As promised we are going to keep our loyal followers up to date on our news.  So..I went in for my blood work yesterday morning.  Brad promised to call around 12 ish.  I was at work for a potluck...so saw he called, didn't answer, ran down stairs to be with Dennis and called back.  My legs were jello-y and I shook the whole way down.  Called Brad back..........


POSITIVE!!   woot woot! I had suspected I was.  I had all the implantation signs of spotting, cramps, zings, puffy boobs.    Our beta/HCg number is really good 404.  They want at least over 80 at this point.  Our IVF years ago that we got pregnant with our fist number was 298.  So...I am excited...but cautiously yet.. This is still early...I am only about 3.5-4 weeks.

Next step is to go back monday for another beta....it should be a lot higher..which is good...means the embryo is growing.   Then 5, 7 and 12 week ultrasound if all goes well. I may ask for a 8 ....nervous because that was when we lost the first.

I am heading out for a picnic with one of my loyal followers so I should go. I will write more later, send me questions if you don't understand what \I am talking about.  Also, please no posting on facebook or anything.  This is a public blog and we don't mind if people know and hear word of mouth......but.....not facebook ready....thanks.....

happy Friday all. Thanks again for all the thoughts, prayers, etc...keep them coming!!!

Home now....

We arrived home yesterday afternoon after a long night of plane rides, lay overs and driving back across the border.    It is always nice to come home. Our cats definitely missed us and haven't really left us alone since we have returned.  I am sure they got lots of attention while we were away...but guess it is never the same.

This week is back to reality for Dennis...he's at work...and likely very tired.  I am off one more week.  The first two weeks post transfer/IVF/IUI are a good time to relax, take it easy and let nature run its course.  Yes, with "normal" conception you wouldn't know at this time that you might be pregnant and would carry on with business as usual.  In this case...I am playing it safe and taking the extra time.  As most of you know work is very busy and can be quite physically demanding.  So...my week consists of a blood work a couple days, a few appointments and some relaxing.  There are things I should be doing..but i am trying to be good and not do them.
How do I feel?  Good...tired...but hard to know what from.  Past few days been getting these crampy feeling and little "zings" I would call them every once in awhile. Told Brad, the SOFT nurse today and he said "good"...so I assume...that is a good sign!:)  They told me I was glowing today there too...maybe because of my tan or maybe because I wasn't bawling and emotional for the first time in awhile there!:)  They are just an amazing group, so supportive and really have become like family over this journey.

Anyway..this week is our Beta......We have talked about it and will probably let those who have been following this know either way what happens.  That being said please remember this very early in the game....like the pee on the stick early in the game.  So....a positive will be awesome...but not out of the woods yet!!  So...keep those positive thoughts coming....

Here are a few peaceful pictures of our trip.....help me keep calm....and chive on...as Dennis and Kyle would say!

California love winds down....

Wow... Last few days have been busy and amazing.   After leaving Thousand Oaks we hit the highway to Morro Bay where we caught Pacific Highway one and made our way north to Monterey.   That stretch is just breathtaking.. Words cannot describe... Mother nature is just amazing.   We made lots of stops for pictures of the coast,  more mountains,  Mcway waterfalls... (which had pretty scenery but not really an impressive fall), Bixby bridge and others. The big change we noticed heading up was the temp drop.   Been wearing Capri and long  sleeves more than shorts.

We were on Monterey for two nights and saw more scenery around Pebble beach(Lone cyprus) and Carmel by the Sea as well as around the Cannery in Monterey itself.   We also visited a Raceway LaGun Seca and the Monterey aquarium  which were both neat.

Last stretch up PCH to San Francisco  was cool.. Bit we bundled up and left the top down... So of course.   Some beautiful views again but more veggie and fruit farms along the way... And less dead Hills.

Last days were in San Francisco and area.   Saw sights like Muir woods (red wood trees), Golden Gate Bridge,  Lombard St crooked Hill,  road a cable car,   pier 39, etc

In the airport now waiting for our flight home.   Going to be tired and jet lagged with time change and late flight.   Our trip was amazing and I am grateful we were able to make  vacation out of it,  see and experience some amazing things and have some quality time together.

Coming home also means back to reality.   The past few days I have been a bit emotional.   I am sad our trip is over but nervous about where things will go from here.   I have a good feeling.... We feel all of your love,  support and crossed fingers.    Going to stop now as I am getting tired.   Hope I was making sense and autocorrect didn't screw anything up...   Next post will be back on Canadian  soil.

Fingers crossed!!! Sorry for the two pics.. Can't get rid of one 

Fertility update

Sorry for the delay in writing.   We have been pretty busy,  plus our last hotel only had Internet in the lobby.  Well you could pay for in your room... But we don't need it that much... And I am cheap.

So... Day after transfer we received a call from Dr Hubert.   We were expecting three maybe up to six possible embryos to freeze.   We have seven!!   This is great as it 1)gives us options (If)   this first try doesn't work.   2)  options for more if we want.   We still would have to go to Thousand Oaks but not as long.   We can pick when and just have to go for the transfer piece.    So.... We will see!!!

Otherwise,  feeling good.   Tired but we have been busy.    I was told to "take it easy"  for at least a week.   Basically no super strenuous activity like running or lifting anything more than 5-10pounds.   Not a lot of research around exact protocol but it is what the suggest.... Gives the embryos time to burrow.    So... At least we were busy doing walks.... But not really excersing is making me ancy.   Looking forward to the okay to start.

Continuing our daily progesterone and twice weekly estrogen injections into my butt... Basically into my gluteus medius area.   I think  it is starting to have  nice blue tinge. :)   We have the process down... I prep the needle,  ice the area,  Dennis injects and I massage it in and then heat.   Sexy huh!   Some of the needles sting but going in is usually a prick feeling.   The weird part that makes me jump is the sensation of it going in... Kind of like honey... And the one is a good amount.     After this flu shots will be nothing!

Transfer!!

Yesterday was transfer day and I was nervous.... Not because of procedure itself really.. It is pretty brief. Just the whole thing.
Anyway,  after another crazy Canyon drive one last time we went to the clinic.   I was supposed to have a comfortably full bladder.   I suck at that!!   My four year old bladder is a bad judge,  plus it was like two hours later the we had the transfer... So I peed a lot and drank a lot of water. Apparently your bladder refills even fifteen minutes... Interesting.

Before the transfer we met with an embryologist who explained everything.   19retrieved, 15 good,   three quarters they used ICSI,  the rest conventional.  First picture is of our embryos.   Top is ICSI.   We took one from it and one from conventional... Yes two in.   Three to freeze.... Three more potentials today if they grow enough.
Transfer itself is easy.  After a valium (the protocol to relax my lining),  speculum  in, catheter in,  and insert.   Lie for ten minutes and good bye.   Second pic is my ultrasound.. Little tiny dot.... Are the embryos... Hard to see on a. Picture of a picture.   Now I have to the it easy for a week.... As Dennis said his mode!!    Just no running,  abdominal work... Stuff like that.   

Feeling good.   Long day yesterday as we went to an Angels game... Jays lost but it was fun.   On the road heading north today...

Mixed emotions..

Tomorrow it gets real again.   This past week has been a blur and a blast.   We have experienced so much and enjoyed every minute.   As tomorrow approaches I am getting nervous..   Doubts   from past attempts flood back while hopes for future success try and push there way through.   I sound like broken record I am sure... But this is how I feel... Scary to see in my mind for a bit:)   By this time tomorrow we will be done.   I will likely be drugged (valium to relax me and my lining) and resting.   Then we wait.   I realize it will hopefully be a  long nine month wait but I will breathe easier by 12 weeks.

Relax day today... . Farmers market with so sweet and tasty strawberries,  Peaches,  nectarines with samples... Like an outdoor Costco!!   Visited a small Thousand Oaks gem.... Gardens of the world.   Small but beautiful!!   Much more we could do and see.... But needing a driving break.   Back to my reading and planning our trip up the coast.

Making comments

Hi everyone.   I have had a few friends say they are unable to comment.   Is this the case for everyone?  I don't expect comments but need to figure out if and why people can't.    I have checked my settings and don't see anything.    Anyway... Let me know via this or other means... Thanks

Quick update

I am going to make these posts shorter and maybe do more when I get back.  Typing on my phone  or Ipad and adding picture is getting annoying.

Anyway, we have nine eggs fertilized and about six that look promising according to Dr Hubert today.  I was hoping for more as a buffer but it only takes one right?  We have continued with our shots daily...two  on Fridays  and Tuesdays...awesome.  Feel like a pin cushion.

Been busy sightseeing.  Saw the Hollywood sign, stars on Hollywood blvd, checked out Venice beach and saw fireworks yesterday at Marina del Rey.   Today we took a drive north to Santa Barbara to the wharf for some lobster rolls and wine tasting.     Been doing a bit more relaxing too pool side.....this is a vacation after and I do need to be rested up for Monday!!!

Miss you all...thanks again for all your support...

Retrieval, driving, walking, climbing and long needles!!

Believe it or not... This is all in one day!!   Wednesday morning  was retrieval day for the donor.... Which meant one last time for Dennis and his cup to have a date!    Everything had to be there by 8 ish while the retrival was happening.   Found out later 19 were retrieved.   Three quarters of those are fertilized via ICSI...I think I described this in earlier posts.  Now we wait to see what fertilizes.

From ther we set out on a four hour drive to the Sequoia Narional park via Three Rivers.  It is a long drive but something I have always wanted to see.   The drive was so diverse..starting with more mountains and amazing views, then to flat and HOT with mountains in the background.  We ended up putting up the top and turning the AC on.  A stretch was dry and kind of boring but then we a ta rented to see fruit farms like oranges and lemons.

The park itself  is huge.  Fourty five minutes of twisting and turning and we were at the main area.  We saw huge sequoia trees, climbed 400ish steps up morro rock for an unbelievable view and saw General Sherman biggest sequoia known.  These tree are something to see!!!  We did a lot of walking and climbing up and down today....but it was all worth it.

On our way home...we stopped for some local fruit...oranges and plums and made the drive back.

So...needles.  Tonight was out start to daily intramuscular progesterone injections ...yes into my butt.  Fine...estrogen has been going okay.  But we found out the clinic wants like1.5 inch ins...freaking huge.  Wasn't too bad going in...just the fluid injecting is weird ...them it aches like when you work out.   Fun fun!!

Canada day

Hey We made it to Thousand Oaks in great time... 2.5 hours.   We hit some traffic but beat  the main  rush hour.  

Our appointment at Fertility and associates went well.   We waited awhile.. Quite a busy clinic with three doctors I believe.    Met with Dr Hubert for a bit,  had an ultrasound.,  mock transfer and blood work for both of us.   Dr Hubert is a lovely soft-spoken man who true to what I was told gives you travel advice while doing the moc. 

After settling in we took one of the Canon roads through the mountains toward the coast.   It was so twist.  Dennis loved driving it.   The views were amazing!! 

We hit the Pacific Coast Highway (PCH) and drove along to Santa Monica and back.   Gorgeous coastal drive with the top down!   Scenery is just breathtaking.   Thanks goodness for digital cameras.... We have Sooo many  pictures already.. 

Too early...

Well it is 7am at home but 4am here in San Diego.... Ugh.   We are partly up because dennis body hadw not switched time zones yet.... But more because we have to be in Thousand Oaks by 11am.   It is about a three hour drive But we have to go through LA  which I have been told is BRUTAL traffic.    So...We planned on a 5am departure.. Maybe earlier now.

We have had a fabulous time in San Diego... Packed a lot into two days.   Saw some beautiful views at Mt soledad,  LaJolla beaches(cool sea lions.... But smelly), Point Loma to name a few.  Yesterday was the San Diego zoo.. (wow!) and a tour of USS Midway... A commissioned air craft carrier... Ending with supper in little Italy.   Lots more to see... But will have to be next time.
So today is blood work and ultrasound for me... And meet Dr Hubert.   Tomorrow is retrieval day for the donor!!

Time to get going in our convertible ! Will try and post a few pictures later. 
Happy Canada day!!!