Love. My. Naps

I was never a big napper before...but I must say they are so nice...even a quick half hour revives you. Day off today, at a friends cottage for a girls weekend.  Three preggos...three none.  Three will be grazing over food and napping. Three will be drinking..:)

Not sure if I should continue this blog or not. Mi am thinking I will and see if people are still following and interested.  This is still part of our journey and I am sure I will find things to write about as my body changes.

We have received so much love and support, more I should say since we have become more public.  People who I thought would be happy for us are tearing up and exuberant!  It is quite touching actually.   A chunk of people at work know...but many don't including patients. I figure as I start showing they will find out.   One family member however has guessed...asked Dennis first to be safe.  Says she knew three weeks ago.  By my eyes....weird...some sixth sense she has.

Many wonder if I am showing yet.  Those that know me well think I am a bit...I might have a bit of a paunch.  I feel it more as a bloaty feeling when I over eat.  My clothes fit...some a bit snigger around the hips....but my stretchy pants will do just fine for awhile hopefully.  Time will tell..  The question is will I go wide or forward ..or both??

The big question people are asking...will we find out the sex??  Yes.....when it is born!  We want the surprise.  Waited this long...and I am okay with neutral colours to start.  Sorry to all those waiting to unload gender specific stuff:).

As we are settling into the fact that things are proceeding and going well I am allowing myself to be excited and start planning.  We have no clue about names..so we will start looking.  I was not one of those girls who had names picked out at 15.  Plus...we are finding a lot get vetoed because they remind us of patients or people we don't want reminding of !!  It happens...you all know it.  Also staring to think about what we need and have offers from many to "come see what we have" so we are!!  Any advice is welcomed as well.  Good strollers, cribs, etc?  Just remember no disrespect if we don't take it.

Anyway...back to reading my book before the drinking girls arrive.   Please message me if you want to know about anything specific...open to ideas...

Men are from mars...women are from Venus....

I started this post a couple weeks back..but still think it's worth finishing and posting...

We have all heard this saying and a few may have read the book. It may be a generalization...but in my world and many of my friends...this is so true.  I was talking with a good friend about some recent "talks" Dennis and I have had and realized I am not a lone in the situations that occur or how they make me feel.   We had a good laugh talking about it....which is good because in the moment I want to ring my Martian husbands neck!  I am sure he has some plans for me then too!!:)

I think most of my followers are women so you likely can relate. As for the men..you will relate but likely from a different point of view.  I have talked a lot about hormones and emotions and how they make you feel good and other times....awful.  Normally(no pregnancy) us women can get mildly irrational and a little over the top. In the moment it is like a tidal wave going through you...you know you are losing it over likely nothing but it feels so real and so important.  I am not saying it never is...but it is that overpowering feeling. Usually during these times I probably get short, nit picky,etc, etc...because EVERYTHING is annoying.   In some of those down moments all I want is Dennis to see I am struggling, ask if I am okay,("did you have a bad day?"), talk, give me a hug so I can cry it out.  But usually the opposite occurs.  He avoids me, thinking space is what I need (because that is what he would want).  By this time I am upset, he hasn't come to comfort me, infuriated he thinks nothing is wrong. I then start to ask...maybe demand through sobs what I need.  "GIVE ME A HUG".  His response is often..you want me to hug you when you are snapping and sometimes being mean? "you want me to hug that??(ie me)"  YES!!  To me he should understand why I am upset, understand the emotions going through my body, but he doesn't.  Really it is no fault of his own...I don't think guys get these surges.    The problem is I think they struggle with understanding where it comes from, that it is not a personal attack.

So...this happened last week after a long tiring day at work. I was exhausted. I was running around the house trying to get things packed to go away for the weekend...and one of these moment in sued.  I was telling my girlfriend about this.  Last year around this time she was pregnant.  She asked me if I remembered a similar conversation where her and her husband didn't' talk for a couple days because of this.  I hadn't in the moment but now that she was mentioning it I did....made me feel better that...we aren't the only dysfunctional couple around...that we are likely part of the majority.  I try pointing this out to Dennis...but not sure if he buys it. I think he things I am a little looney, pregnancy and injection hormonal!!

Regardless, we make it through these crazy times and love each other just the same....but ask us in those moments....yes always love....but maybe not like so much!

Facebook official!!!:)

So many of you that are following my blog are facebook friends. So you will know that it is public knowledge now that we are expecting!!  We had our 12 week, IPS (Integrated Prenatal Screening) ultrasound and blood work yesterday.    What an amazing experience... I was really nervous going in...stomach a bit in knots.  I know things were fine as we have had lots of ultrasounds and heard the heart beat only a week ago.  But, my mind kept going to being blindsided at our last 12 week ultrasound. I just need to get there...and see everything was okay.

The ultrasound tech ...is just amazing.  She explained, as much as she is allowed, what we were seeing and she was doing.   Baby was cooperative but wiggled and turned around a lot.  Legs were crossed, uncrossed, hands up, down.  It's amazing how much MORE detail from two weeks ago we could see.  She told us that basically everything but the grey matter in the brain is developed by this time.  Now it just needs to grow!! We don't have official results but didn't seem like anything jumped out.  Another positive was my subchorionic bleed...was just teeny tiny!      So...we enjoyed the 30-45 minutes of watching our baby, quite in awe and at the end got to do a video with the heart beat.  We were hoping to see it move....but apparently baby is camera shy!  

Was a bit sad leaving SOFT that day...as with all the regulatory body issues going on we might not be able to do our 18 week IPS there.:(  They are just as disappointed but are just waiting for things to be allowed legally again. We have our fingers crossed that things will change before then....but if not we have to go to a general ultrasound clinic...which won't be the same treatment. Oh well.  I promised we would be in lots through the pregnancy and after.  Hugs were given all around.   We showed them our "announcement" picture and Brad sent me some pdf versions of a few ultrasound pics.  They have been an amazing team and support....almost become like family with all the time spent there.

So...needles to say we are very excited and relieved at the same time.  No sooner had we posted a couple pictures we were getting responses, emails and texts from everyone! The love and support from all of you is so overwhelming.  Those of you who have been with us through the journey know how very special this is.   I want to thank you for all of your love, support and good vibes thus far!! It means more to us than you will ever know...

Here are a few pictures....

Meeting my Midwife

Had our first midwife appointment today. Yes...it is labour day but she said she was on call..so why not see people.  First impression were great!! First off her name is Leanne...enough said!:)  Seriously though we both liked her personality and I just have a good vibe from her.  With our first pregnancy we went to our intake meeting but then miscarried.  The other midwife was nice but I just didn't feel comfortable walking out of there, like I did today. Maybe my body sensed what was happening...who knows.  She seems lovely, the appointment was thorough but fairly quick.  The best part is we got to hear the heart beat again! yay!  That will tide me over for another week till our 12 week prenatal screen ultrasound and bloodwork.  I was getting a bit nervous and anxious. Yes, things have been good so far....but the 12 week was our blind side shock last time...so I think some nerves are reasonable.

As an aside...here is an article SOFT posted on their facebook page. It talks about adoption but much of what the article says is how I sort of feel at times.  Nervous to allow yourself to be happy and experience the psychological joys of pregnancy...interesting read..http://www.resolve.org/family-building-options/adoption/preparing-for-parenthood-via-adoption.html