Happy new year to everyone! I know the holidays are supposed to be best time of the year and for a lot they are. Time with family, friends, eating too much and laughing a lot. We were fortunate to have a wonderful time with all sort of family and friends. Callen was just fascinating to watch. The innocence of a child seeing a Christmas tree with wide eyes, tearing open a gift with no concept of greed or want and watching as he plays with cousins he doesn't see often is wonderful.
However, I do know this can sometimes be a challenging time of year. I remember many blue Christmas's, trying to smile and keep my emotions inside while watching happy families, those with new born babies....happy for them....yet mad at life, God, whomever that it wasn't me yet. I clearly remember tearing up during many of the church Christmas songs....there is a lot of talk about babies and miracles, etc etc. Don't get me wrong I had fun, I reveled in the moment and the season...but a small part of me was aching.. So...for those there now....it's okay. I have said this before....it's almost my mantra....but it has served me well. Allow yourself to feel. *insert sad, mad,* ...don't talk yourself into feeling that way.
I want to share something that happened the other day....
I ran into an old acquaintance the other day. She asked if I was pregnant...and then joking after "or too much Christmas food". Later I received a message apologizing for the comment....about the food...which had not bothered me at all. She ended up sharing that her and her husband were having fertility issues....that she had known I was pregnant from reading this blog but didn't know how to say it. She said my blog has helped her feel less alone. If you are reading this...thank you for sharing. Knowing I have helped even one person along this crazy journey makes me know I did the right thing by starting this. Yes it was for me more in the beginning....but I am so glad it has and still is helping others...
Anyway, I am doing well pregnancy wise. 17 weeks, getting a belly, almost no innie belly button but feeling better and more energetic overall. I can brush my teeth easier, climb the stairs with less puffing and actually got back to the gym! yay! I can feel more movement but nothing external yet. Can't wait for Callen to feel it. He already says hi baby...and kisses my belly! So cute!
On that note...off to bed for me...night all...
However, I do know this can sometimes be a challenging time of year. I remember many blue Christmas's, trying to smile and keep my emotions inside while watching happy families, those with new born babies....happy for them....yet mad at life, God, whomever that it wasn't me yet. I clearly remember tearing up during many of the church Christmas songs....there is a lot of talk about babies and miracles, etc etc. Don't get me wrong I had fun, I reveled in the moment and the season...but a small part of me was aching.. So...for those there now....it's okay. I have said this before....it's almost my mantra....but it has served me well. Allow yourself to feel. *insert sad, mad,* ...don't talk yourself into feeling that way.
I want to share something that happened the other day....
I ran into an old acquaintance the other day. She asked if I was pregnant...and then joking after "or too much Christmas food". Later I received a message apologizing for the comment....about the food...which had not bothered me at all. She ended up sharing that her and her husband were having fertility issues....that she had known I was pregnant from reading this blog but didn't know how to say it. She said my blog has helped her feel less alone. If you are reading this...thank you for sharing. Knowing I have helped even one person along this crazy journey makes me know I did the right thing by starting this. Yes it was for me more in the beginning....but I am so glad it has and still is helping others...
Anyway, I am doing well pregnancy wise. 17 weeks, getting a belly, almost no innie belly button but feeling better and more energetic overall. I can brush my teeth easier, climb the stairs with less puffing and actually got back to the gym! yay! I can feel more movement but nothing external yet. Can't wait for Callen to feel it. He already says hi baby...and kisses my belly! So cute!
On that note...off to bed for me...night all...
