Emotional struggle

I was back and forth about writing this post but figured I have been "keeping it real" from the beginning  and writing this usually makes me feel better or at least see things in a different light.  The past couple days I have felt more emotional, weepy and to make it simple...sad.    This feels so wrong to me and if I was someone reading this who is trying...I would think "suck it up..what is wrong...this is what you want"....I would be frustrated likely at their lack of realizing what they have.  I know I am supposed to be happy and excited...because this IS what we have been working toward...but lately...not so much.  I am not sure if I am worried and stressed as time ticks along, wishing 12 weeks was here...or if it is the raging pregnancy hormones or the daily hormone injections we are doing, or just the fact I have been so inactive lately....could be a combination of all of the above.  I feel sick saying this but I am jealous of Dennis riding the motorcycle, going out late with friends, working out and playing sports,  and I am feeling not ready "to show" yet, not sure I can do this.  I am scared I won't get a connection with this baby I am caring...which right now feels like someone else's.  I know all of this is irrational and not truly how I feel...but right now...it is real and strong.  In addition...I am likely pushing people, including Dennis away a bit.  I doubt I am the nicest person to live with right now.  I don't understand my emotions...but I expect him to know how to help me and respond. :)   I don't think I am alone in feeling this way and realize it will pass but it sucks in the moment.    Sort of feels like a prepartum sadness. I won't use the word depression...I don't think I am there...just in a slump.  So...i will take a deep breath, grab something munchy to eat, a box of tissue,  watch a show and get some sleep.  Hopefully tomorrow is a better day...I am sure it will be Thanks for listening...