So with pregnancies you want your HcG(pregnancy) hormone to go up. After a miscarriage you want it to go down. Unfortunately, you have no control over this. You are at your body's mercy. Some people take a month others months!! The plan was once my beta gets to zero, I should get a period. We were going to wait a full cycle and then give the IVF one more try. It was the only thing that has ever got me pregnant..and it worked! The miscarriage was just one of those things.
So....we waited, and waited....I would go for weekly blood test and it would crawl down. We kept busy though with work, day trips, week out East to meet our new nephew. I was feeling better over all with less emotional outbursts...but I just didn't feel me. I also was struggling with losing the weight I had put on..it wasn't a lot..but I felt bloated. Also, I was upset that my body was stalling things, wasting valuable months to try...I wasn't getting any younger! Now..I know we aren't old...but regardless of your age and how much you tell yourself not to...you have a time line/an agenda in your head. I was hoping to have things going and be pregnant again by time my original due date....but it didn't seem like that was going to happen.
May rolls around and I finally get my period! Yay!! I go to SOFT for my day 3 blood work and ultrasound and again new something wasn't right with the image on the screen. I apparently had not fully miscarried! Are you freaking kidding me?? It does help explain why I was still feeling so emotional, bloated and not me...my body thought I was still somewhat pregnant. The nurses say they have never seen this happen before...usually if your HcG is dropping it's a good sign So...again I think I have started a new post miscarriage protocol.
So..the plan was to have a D&C which was booked after our weekend away for Dennis' Tough Mudder. I will try and not be too graphic in the next few lines but I am trying to talk about things that people don't talk about...but happen. I hope I am not upsetting or offending anyone. So, on our drive up I started having cramps, which progressed into the worst pains I have ever experienced. I obviously have never given birth but this was my 10!! To boot we had another couple with us. They are now great friends but at that time I had not spent much time with them. Our drive to Barrie was the longest ever. I couldn't get comfortable. Ibuprofen, Midol, food, nothing helped. I just kept trying to grin and bear it and twisted in my seat the whole way. That night was awful, I couldn't sleep, felt sick.. I had an idea of what was happening...but wasn't positive. The next morning thankfully I felt better. I was able to run around and take pictures of Dennis doing the Tough Mudder. He did amazing by the way and I was so proud of him. One of these years when we are done this crazy journey...I am going to do it!! Later that day I passed everything....at least I thought I had. Was a weird and sad moment. I know it was just tissue...but it was part of me. Ultrasound at SOFT Monday morning confirmed it....so no D&C!
So...with everything finally clear my body finally started to feel mine again....my roller coaster moments were less. It made me appreciate even more how much our hormones do affect us.
So....we waited, and waited....I would go for weekly blood test and it would crawl down. We kept busy though with work, day trips, week out East to meet our new nephew. I was feeling better over all with less emotional outbursts...but I just didn't feel me. I also was struggling with losing the weight I had put on..it wasn't a lot..but I felt bloated. Also, I was upset that my body was stalling things, wasting valuable months to try...I wasn't getting any younger! Now..I know we aren't old...but regardless of your age and how much you tell yourself not to...you have a time line/an agenda in your head. I was hoping to have things going and be pregnant again by time my original due date....but it didn't seem like that was going to happen.
May rolls around and I finally get my period! Yay!! I go to SOFT for my day 3 blood work and ultrasound and again new something wasn't right with the image on the screen. I apparently had not fully miscarried! Are you freaking kidding me?? It does help explain why I was still feeling so emotional, bloated and not me...my body thought I was still somewhat pregnant. The nurses say they have never seen this happen before...usually if your HcG is dropping it's a good sign So...again I think I have started a new post miscarriage protocol.
So..the plan was to have a D&C which was booked after our weekend away for Dennis' Tough Mudder. I will try and not be too graphic in the next few lines but I am trying to talk about things that people don't talk about...but happen. I hope I am not upsetting or offending anyone. So, on our drive up I started having cramps, which progressed into the worst pains I have ever experienced. I obviously have never given birth but this was my 10!! To boot we had another couple with us. They are now great friends but at that time I had not spent much time with them. Our drive to Barrie was the longest ever. I couldn't get comfortable. Ibuprofen, Midol, food, nothing helped. I just kept trying to grin and bear it and twisted in my seat the whole way. That night was awful, I couldn't sleep, felt sick.. I had an idea of what was happening...but wasn't positive. The next morning thankfully I felt better. I was able to run around and take pictures of Dennis doing the Tough Mudder. He did amazing by the way and I was so proud of him. One of these years when we are done this crazy journey...I am going to do it!! Later that day I passed everything....at least I thought I had. Was a weird and sad moment. I know it was just tissue...but it was part of me. Ultrasound at SOFT Monday morning confirmed it....so no D&C!
So...with everything finally clear my body finally started to feel mine again....my roller coaster moments were less. It made me appreciate even more how much our hormones do affect us.
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