They say things happen for a reason, and I do believe that. In the moment...I hate that saying...but reflecting back I can see many things that wouldn't have happened if we had gotten pregnant all those times. We have had a lot of fun and adventures which many of you have followed on facebook.:) I am not saying kids will stop us from that...but it will be different. So...if I give one piece of advice to anyone reading this who is going through similar struggles...keep on living...keep on doing things you love, keep doing things you and your partner love.
So..2014 started off with us deciding it was time to move. We contacted the clinic in California and were waiting for them to send us profiles. My understanding was we would pick someone, see if they were available, do legal stuff, send off drugs, she would start her cycle and by Feb-March we would be down there....
So...to get profiles of women..we had to send characteristics we wanted...So weird and surreal. We naturally said curly hair, brown, causcasian, good shape, healthy....what else do you say when you are ordering your child's mom?:) We also sent them a picture of me to help them out. So basically they have a pool of donors that are part of their clinic. What is nice about this clinic is they don't take a cut of the donor compensation fee..(so is a bit cheaper I guess). They sent us multiple emails with multiple donors. We would get pictures and a profile. How much we got of each varied. Generally we knew her age, height, weight, eye colour, hair colour, etc, schooling, family information, health. Some of the forms even had a place they could write about themselves or why they wanted to be donors. It was a interesting, surreal and unusual as we sat down and looked through everything....overwhelming at first might be the best. There are a lot of variables to consider. Many were young...18, 19, the oldest 29 that we came across. Some were going through school, others single mom's, others just wanting to "help out". Some we vetoed right away based on medical issues, weird selfies, odd comments on the form, etc. We both had to agree on the person. We had to like how she looked, Dennis had to think she was attractive(naturally), healthy, good family history, active, seemed to genuinely want to help (based on the writing). And I was really banking on curly hair. BUT ...apparently in that area of Cali...not a lot of curls happening. I was sort of disappointed in that...everyone knows me by my curls...but really in the end...won't the Asian genes take over??:) Anyway...we both had to have a good vibe from her, feel like she would be someone we would hang out with. Believe it or not there are websites to help guide you through this process
We narrowed it down and came up with our number one pick. We then found out we were on a waiting list...June/July would be the earliest!! WHAT?? Wait longer?? I was NOT a happy camper. I had allowed myself to move on, to think optimistically, to be ready for the next move, planned (see...the problem..planned) things would be going in a month. I had anticipated being pregnant in the summer. I guess I was really just tired of life being put on hold for an unknown amount of time with an unknown end result. I wanted things to move along now that we had a plan starting. Little did I know there were other things I needed to do first for me.
So..2014 started off with us deciding it was time to move. We contacted the clinic in California and were waiting for them to send us profiles. My understanding was we would pick someone, see if they were available, do legal stuff, send off drugs, she would start her cycle and by Feb-March we would be down there....
So...to get profiles of women..we had to send characteristics we wanted...So weird and surreal. We naturally said curly hair, brown, causcasian, good shape, healthy....what else do you say when you are ordering your child's mom?:) We also sent them a picture of me to help them out. So basically they have a pool of donors that are part of their clinic. What is nice about this clinic is they don't take a cut of the donor compensation fee..(so is a bit cheaper I guess). They sent us multiple emails with multiple donors. We would get pictures and a profile. How much we got of each varied. Generally we knew her age, height, weight, eye colour, hair colour, etc, schooling, family information, health. Some of the forms even had a place they could write about themselves or why they wanted to be donors. It was a interesting, surreal and unusual as we sat down and looked through everything....overwhelming at first might be the best. There are a lot of variables to consider. Many were young...18, 19, the oldest 29 that we came across. Some were going through school, others single mom's, others just wanting to "help out". Some we vetoed right away based on medical issues, weird selfies, odd comments on the form, etc. We both had to agree on the person. We had to like how she looked, Dennis had to think she was attractive(naturally), healthy, good family history, active, seemed to genuinely want to help (based on the writing). And I was really banking on curly hair. BUT ...apparently in that area of Cali...not a lot of curls happening. I was sort of disappointed in that...everyone knows me by my curls...but really in the end...won't the Asian genes take over??:) Anyway...we both had to have a good vibe from her, feel like she would be someone we would hang out with. Believe it or not there are websites to help guide you through this process
We narrowed it down and came up with our number one pick. We then found out we were on a waiting list...June/July would be the earliest!! WHAT?? Wait longer?? I was NOT a happy camper. I had allowed myself to move on, to think optimistically, to be ready for the next move, planned (see...the problem..planned) things would be going in a month. I had anticipated being pregnant in the summer. I guess I was really just tired of life being put on hold for an unknown amount of time with an unknown end result. I wanted things to move along now that we had a plan starting. Little did I know there were other things I needed to do first for me.
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