Our plan of starting IVF was delayed a few months due to my cycles taking some time to normalize. The plan was still to start another long protocol IVF the end of the summer. We also started thinking of other options. I had always considered adoption and had heard it was quite a process in itself. Why not get things started. We met with some friends who had adopted through Children's Aid and another couple who had adopted Privately. Both had different perspectives but both had amazing and cute children who they loved and adored. Both couples were so inspiring and had their own fertility journey story.
So we started our research and found out that regardless of who you go through(CAS, private or international) you have to take this course. PRIDE course( Parent Resources for Information Development and Education) and do a home study. The lady from CAS said we could start the process and then would have to stop before starting the home study until we were sure we wanted to continue. It also never expired. So, we did the pile of paper work and signed up for the fall course every Wed night for 9 sessions.
One of the forms we had to do was strange to do. You had to rate on a scale about different attributes/characteristics, family things about a child, their family..that you were okay with. For example would you feel comfortable with a child who has cerebral palsy? Are you okay with a mom who was an alcoholic. It was very intense and in depth. You were not judged...they just want the best fit...child and family.
The PRIDE course overall wasn't too bad. I did learn a lot about CAS and the processes, programs available. I struggled at times with the fact that we were there taking a course to be a parent, to children whose parents didn't want them, abused them or couldn't take care of them. Did they take a course before they had children?? That was the bitter part of me. I know it is to protect the children..and I get that....but part of me would have to count back wards and cool off occasionally during the sessions. There were a lot of inspirational moments and wonderful stories of foster and adoptive parents and children. The part I struggled with the most was that for the first year or more you didn't know if you would get to keep the baby. CAS' new mandate for One child one home. If you knew you wanted to adopt you would foster to adopt...meaning you would likely get a baby/young child and if things worked out would adopt that child. However, CAS' mandate is to get the child back with its biological family if appropriate and safe. So...there is always a risk of losing the child. But as they said...it is about the child....not the parents. I agree...but doesn't make it easier.
So...we struggled with what to do when the time came to make decisions about proceeding or not...
So we started our research and found out that regardless of who you go through(CAS, private or international) you have to take this course. PRIDE course( Parent Resources for Information Development and Education) and do a home study. The lady from CAS said we could start the process and then would have to stop before starting the home study until we were sure we wanted to continue. It also never expired. So, we did the pile of paper work and signed up for the fall course every Wed night for 9 sessions.
One of the forms we had to do was strange to do. You had to rate on a scale about different attributes/characteristics, family things about a child, their family..that you were okay with. For example would you feel comfortable with a child who has cerebral palsy? Are you okay with a mom who was an alcoholic. It was very intense and in depth. You were not judged...they just want the best fit...child and family.
The PRIDE course overall wasn't too bad. I did learn a lot about CAS and the processes, programs available. I struggled at times with the fact that we were there taking a course to be a parent, to children whose parents didn't want them, abused them or couldn't take care of them. Did they take a course before they had children?? That was the bitter part of me. I know it is to protect the children..and I get that....but part of me would have to count back wards and cool off occasionally during the sessions. There were a lot of inspirational moments and wonderful stories of foster and adoptive parents and children. The part I struggled with the most was that for the first year or more you didn't know if you would get to keep the baby. CAS' new mandate for One child one home. If you knew you wanted to adopt you would foster to adopt...meaning you would likely get a baby/young child and if things worked out would adopt that child. However, CAS' mandate is to get the child back with its biological family if appropriate and safe. So...there is always a risk of losing the child. But as they said...it is about the child....not the parents. I agree...but doesn't make it easier.
So...we struggled with what to do when the time came to make decisions about proceeding or not...
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